Life’s unanswered questions

I wonder all the time why I thought life sucked so badly before dialysis. I miss those carefree days of eating anything I wanted doing anything I wanted and oops I forgot up take my vitamin was no big deal. Now any and every oops has a consequence far beyond my control. It’s now a takei this or ui erection from my doctors. I’ve just but put on my first restriction diet since starting dialysis this is going to kill my figuratively not that it’s realistically going to kill me.   Oh well

i’m so tired

it never seems to fail i can be tired all day long even exhausted all day long but as soon as i lay down on my bed i can not sleep i find my self tossing and turning not sleeping thinking about the day or worry about  random things like can a zombie climb a tree,  what would happen if i… did i remember to lock the door  stupid shit like that until at some  point i pass out because i am waking up in the morning 6 hours later.